Stop the attention seeking already!

Am I the only one who is sick of hearing about the Veitch saga? I don't want to hear that he has tried to commit suicide again. Don't get me wrong, he obviously needs some mental health intervention, but I don't need to, nor do I want to hear about it in the news. It is old news! I think the media in New Zealand are inciting Tony and Kristin to carry this hate-filled smear campaign against each other on and I can't believe that the media are encouraging this. Sure, I can understand that Kristin is angry, I would be too if I thought my ex partner who hurt me so badly was living the high life while I had to cope with the aftermath of what he did. I would be angry if I was Veitch too, angry at all the media attention and at myself for having ruined my own life! I would be depressed too, because he has lost a lot, but let us not forget, there are consequences for actions and sometimes the level of consequences are not able to be controlled.


This latest comment that Veitch made about the money being to help Kristin out financially for her loss of income and then complaining that he doesn't understand why he was charged after that, really shows he doesn't understand what happens in New Zealand. Firstly, Kristin has no say under the Domestic Violence act as to whether he is charged or not (this law was brought in so people could not intimidate their partners, or pay them off or sweet talk them etc), and secondly, by his own admission that money was not intended to be hush money, it was money to compensate for the losses she had incurred as a result of his actions (see Http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/print.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10527461&pnum=0).

Personally, the more Veitch says, the less like remorse it sounds. The explanation that he snapped because he was under immense pressure is an excuse. It implies that there is a limit to the amount of stress a person can cope with and if they reach that limit, they snap. Consequently, what happens after that is not with in their control and they are therefore not responsibly for their actions. That is not true, there is no finite limit to what people can cope with, sure we all feel very stressed at times, but our actions are always within our control - we can all walk away, call police, lock ourselves in another room.. there are alternatives to hitting out. It is dangerous to continue the fallacy that a man who physically attacks a woman is a victim of uncontrollable rage induced by the woman. That is victim blaming, and also removes the blame from the attacker.

I also find it interesting that Veitch claims that he hasn't had his say in the media over the past year. I have read articles by his ex-girlfriend, wife and Paul Holmes, that have all come out to support Tony and get his side of the story across. As far as I know, there has not been anyone that has come out in support of Kristin. In fact, what has been portrayed of Kristin if you look at it objectively, is that she has been accused of lying, is money hungry, still in love with Veitch and blackmailed him for the money. The media, friends, family of Tony and Tony, let it go, it does not matter that you haven't put your whole story across, I bet she hasn't either, it is getting nasty now with releasing private information, the bottom line is, there is no excuse for hitting Kristin, just leave it there and move on, the rest of the media and public will follow if there is no more fuel. End this saga for your own sakes.

I could go on and on, but I don't want to think about it anymore. It is a simple problem that has been over analysed and milked for all it is worth. It makes me sick to see groups being created that are coming out in support of either side, it is not helpful. Personally, I don't care if Tony gets his media jobs back anymore, everytime I see him, I will probably remember what he did anyway, but maybe in time that will change. Of course he deserves a career, life and happiness though, we can't persecute him forever. It has been through the courts and it has been settled legally, so it is not for me to now pass judgement on his sentence and it is now certainly not up to me to have an opinion whether he should be on tv or not. Let's just all move on. Yes, he made a mistake that hurt another person, yes what he did was terrible. As far as second chances go, the only person that has to believe in him is his wife, and if she does, then that is all that matters.

If Tony is as remorseful as he says he is, then LET IT GO! Move on, let New Zealand move on.. if you want us to forget about what you did then you have to stop talking about it! Let go of the anger and resentment, get help for your depression and suicidal thoughts, grow from your mistakes and become a role model for those in a similar situation.

Let Those Without Sin..

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4058831a10.html

You would think a 26 year old story would have to be sufficiently juicy enough to warrant all the media attention this piece is getting but no. Howard Broad didn't murder or rape anyone, nor did he allow that to happen in his house, nor did he allow anyone to show bestiality porn in his house, what DID he do then to deserve all the media attention?

The police commissioner of New Zealand hosted a party 26 years ago and one of the people at the party (not a police party, a rugby team party) brought a video that the commissioner was unaware of, that this person played, or attempted to play without the knowledge of Howard Broad, who was 23yrs old at the time. Now a magazine has published an article on this "incident" and casts the integrity of Howard Broad into doubt because of this event, held unbeknownst to him, 26 years ago.

Broad does not deny this happened. He did not watch it and he was angry that someone brought it into his home. What more could he do? He couldn't have prevented it happening, and he stopped it when he knew about it. I wonder who really cares about the whole thing. If he was caught watching this stuff now as the police commissioner, that is a different story, but come on, how can we condemn someone for something that happened 26 years ago when they had no control over it? It is just a blatant example of someone with a grudge. I do not believe we can expect to have all our leaders as sin-free or saints as we often expect them to. Who ever said they had to be perfect? Why do we have to make them pay for every "mistake" in their lives? What is to be gained for reporting this? Nothing positive for Broad, his family or the people that work for him and need his respect.

Much has been said about the police culture lately and I believe too much has been categorised as police culture when it should be categorised as Kiwi male culture. What happens or what happened when men get/got together in rugby circles, office parties, farm drink-ups or police gatherings was not just limited to police staff. We all know or have heard of parties that ended up going over some moral lines, it shouldn't be all blamed on just police culture.

I do concede there was and still is a distinct police culture that exists in New Zealand that I have witnessed with my own eyes. But I do not concede that every New Zealand police officer is a part of this culture or that it exists as an underworld as has been suggested. The police culture that I know is a way of helping cope with the many varied situations that police have to deal with everyday and includes comradorie and mutual humour, understanding. We can't expect police to be perfect and just as in every other group, there are going to be some bad eggs that will need to be exposed and rooted out.

Of course police officers have to abide by the law just like everyone else, and any accusations of rape, discrimination etc should not be treated the same as this incident as I believe the media are trying to do by painting a picture that all NZ police are deviant. But this incident needs to be acknowledged for what it is and what it is not. How can we compare rape with this latest incident? We have to be aware of the influence of the medias comparisons - these separate incidents of inappropriate police behaviour and what happened at Howard Broad's party 26 years ago are not the same!

I think a lot of that Kiwi (male) culture has died off due to more women in the workforce and families have been given priority over workmates playtime.. perhaps society has changed for the better in at least this area. Or perhaps we've just grown up..