So Many Thoughts

I always seem to have an opinion about something. Some things get me worked up, and I will tell anyone that will listen my passionate point of view. I rarely lose my temper, I just feel passion. I guess I have to feel that passion about a topic to want to express myself. I write to vent when I need to. Hopefully it won't be all negative stuff, just a place to collect my thoughts at the time. So this is not so much about my life but my personal thoughts about the world around me.

Sunday, 3 June 2007

What is an anti-feminist?

I saw a group online this morning that's focus was anti-feminist. I wonder what exactly that is? Are they anti women getting equal pay? Are they anti women getting equal rights or even the vote? Do they want women to dedicate their lives to their menfolk? Are they pro-rape? Are they pro-male domination? I am very curious to understand where they were coming from because in this day and age, I cannot imagine what an anti-feminist really believes in. I was not curious enough to join their group because I do not have the time nor can I be bothered getting into an argument when I am just curious about their beliefs. I imagine they are a group of men who believe they are superior to women. I imagine they have been hurt or felt they have been wronged by women/woman (plural or singular) in their lives and believe they should exercise both physical and/or psychological control over women. Maybe (I imagine) they have religious beliefs that require that control. I say imagine, because I don't know.

Up until I started studying what some women have been through/ are going through/ what women fought for, I would not have considered myself a feminist, but as my knowledge grew, so did my realisation that I do believe women are entitled to equal pay for the same career choice and men, the right to be free from violence from men and the fear of violence. I do believe that many of women's 'choices' in life have been dictacted by society and culture and consequently women have traditionally been disadvantaged. I do believe it is wrong to use physical or psychological force to coerce, push or abuse women into making choices that they would not have made if they had total freedom. I do not believe all women have the same freedoms all over our world today, and this is why we need to speak out for them, not for the women that do have those freedoms, but for the ones that don't.

To be anti-feminist to me, must mean being anti-women because being feminist to me is just about being pro-women. To be clear, I do not believe women are super beings, better than men, or that I think men have little to offer women or the world. Far from it, I am happily attached to my male partner who is my equal intellectually, and who I raise my traditional nuclear family with - a lifestyle I chose and continue to choose because I love it (and the men in my life). I am not nor will I ever be anti-male and I do not understand those men and women that are anti the other sex. Men and women are different, but they are also the same in some areas.. we are all human and all of us deserve to be treated with respect.

It is for these reasons that I wonder who is anti-feminist and what they mean by that label. I cannot imagine what that label stands for.

Tuesday, 22 May 2007

Dying to be Boy/Girl Racers

In the last few weeks, three people have been killed by young men that the media has dubbed "boy racers" in two separate incidents in NZ. The news has been filled with how dangerous these boy racers are to the public. It sounds like it is a new problem from the media coverage, but it is not. It has been a growing problem for years now for a couple of reasons.

The most influential has been the increase in cheap, fast, late model Japanese imported cars and the ease in which these young, sometimes unemployed boys can get loans to buy the cars. Another reason is it is trendy amongst young boys to own these little fast cars, so they all want one. Another reason is that young boys (and by that I mean 17-20 yr olds) can still own these cars and not have a full license to drive them, some of them have had their restricted or learners license for years and have no immediate plans to get a full license. Another reason seems to have to do with the class of adolescent. It does seem to be mainly the white, middle to upper class teenager/young adult that is attracted to this kind of activity. Are they not interested in sport? Did they have lots of xbox/playstation racing games that made them think they could transfer their skills into real life? Are they the only ones that can afford to buy and run the cars because their parents help with insurance and/or maintainence on their vehicles? Another reason is the street races that causes them to have that rush of adrenaline, feeling the power of the car under their 'control', doing something illegal that they might get caught for and knowing that lots of their mates and potential girl/boy friends are admiring their 'skills'. There is also the sense of comaraderie, the feeling of belonging within the large group of like-minded peers, friendship, and kudos with the mates.

What has changed?

Of course, adolescents (both genders) have always loved cars, especially getting their own first car - one of the first steps of freedom and entry into the adult world, so that is nothing new. Even showing off in cars is not new, my parents tell stories that only differ from the same stories I told, and this next generation tells, by the years of the cars we all drove. But a couple of other things have changed from those times. The boy/girl racers have little respect for the laws, and for other people's rights (they seem to express their own rights to freedom often, but show little caring about other peoples rights to the road, and ultimately their lives). Also, boy/girl racers don't seem to care if they damage their beloved car, spend too much on petrol (although there is also an increase in drive-off's at petrol stations because of this activity) or rip up the roads. They don't seem to realise that by destroying the road, someone has to pay for that road to be fixed to be safe and driveable again - the tax payers. I object to paying for the roads to be continually fixed because of this selfish and dangerous 'fun'. There is also a general loss of respect for the use of a powerful machine - the cars are much more powerful, and therefore are deadlier weapons. You have to treat it right, know it, learn it and respect its power. These young drivers have only had a couple of years driving experience, they don't know how to drive well. That is a major difference between boy/girl racers and seasoned rally drivers. They don't know what to do when the car loses control, and so they often make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes are fatal. Most young people have not been involved in a serious car accident and do not know the pain and trauma that occurs. Movies and television have desensitised pain and trauma, and as such have taken away some of the fear surrounding it.

It is not just the tragic lives of those that are killed that we mourn. It is the senseless loss of life, it is the devastating effect on the families, friends, attending emergency services. It is also the loss of life for the offending person - they can never forget what happened, their life will never be the same. What they saw as fun is revealed for what it is or could be at any moment - deadly. How do you get over something like that?

Who is to blame?

Who is to blame? The loan approvers or the policy around lending big loans to young boys that have a high likelihood of writing the car off before they pay the loan off? The parents that allow their adolescents to drive outside of their conditions and therefore have no respect for the law, and pay for their continued maintenance? The boy/girl racers who prefer to have illegal street racers that they can 'control' rather than join a car club and have to abide by their rules? The police that cannot be in all places at all times to shutdown these burnouts/drags? The car salespeople who sell young people these cars? The insurance companies that insure them? The government for not providing jobs to occupy them? The justice legislation that is not strong enough to deter them?

In todays society we are so quick to pass blame. Probably most of those things and maybe others have a little to blame, but instead of looking to blame, we should be looking to solve this with the boy/girl racers to ensure the safety of all of us.

How can we fix it?
There have been calls through the media to stop car salespeople from selling the high performance cars to young people. I don't think that will work. To me that is just a restriction on freedom. Not all young people are boy/girl racers. There also has been a suggestion to ban liquor in public places 24 hours a day. Again, just throwing the baby out with the bath water - the good people lose out. Why don't we raise the driving age to at least 18 for a start? Why don't we teach driving in schools here in NZ so that they can learn more than just how to cram the driving test enough to pass? Why don't we show young people what it's like to attend a fatal accident caused by speed so they know what it's like to have to clean blood off the road, the same blood that gets on your shirt, that same blood that flowed through someones daughter/son/brother/sister just a few short hours ago. Why don't we stop spreading propaganda that the people 'died doing what they loved'. THEY STILL DIED! THEY HAVE LOST THE CHANCE TO LOVE ANYTHING ELSE FOREVER. (People just say that to appease their guilt).

Growing up
If we do nothing, if the media coverage dies out - the boy/girl racers will grow out of it, or grow up and move on. Perhaps they will wake up and realise the danger in their fun and find another hobby. Perhaps they will be shocked into reality by being involved in, or witnessing a horrific car accident. Perhaps they will just slowly lose interest and their lives will be filled with more important things as happens when we get older. Maybe some will quit because of the cost to their cars.. or because they have lost their license or had their car confiscated and they realise they don't want that to happen again. Hopefully these things will occur, and no more young and promising lives will be wasted. But can we really do nothing, why should anyone die just because some other people are not following the laws of our country that are set down to protect us - not to dampen fun or to prevent our freedom - just to protect us.

If those that need to hear could only listen..

Sunday, 20 May 2007

Who Earns Their Salary?

Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz, Halle Berry.. just three actors that receive millions of dollars in payment for each movie they complete. Millions of dollars. For acting. They are not saving lives, perfecting cures for cancer, AIDS or even the common cold, just acting. They did not spend years in expensive university training nor do they have to put themselves in danger by working with dangerous people. Maybe they will do their own stunts, or maybe they won't even have to do that.

It's not just celebrities that are paid ridiculously high salaries though. What about M.P's or senators? Why should our politicians receive such a huge salary while they sit comfortably in their comfortable chairs, debating about what is 'best' for the rest of their constituents? Are they really working for us? We get painted a picture that they are, but if they are such caring people who want to change our society for the better for us then why do they get paid so much to do that? Shouldn'they be doing it for a modest amount so that the rest of their salary could be donated to the people in society that really need it?

How do celebrities or M.P's/senators earn their money in comparison to doctors, nurses, mental health workers, police officers, correctional officers, social workers, or other vocations that truely puts themselves in danger in order to make society a safer place for all of us. There is something grossly wrong with this picture. The world seems upside down with how we distribute salary worth. I am sure the actors that receive huge salaries are very good and deserve to be the top of their vocation, but what about the very good mental health workers? Their job is a necessity and a good community worker can change, save and mend lives and yet there is no salary recognition, no government recognition for this or other similar vocations. Obviously those in the community help vocation do not do it for the money or fame, but my point is to highlight the difference between the famous and the people who put themselves in danger to help other people.

To be clear, I am not blaming the actors for earning this money, I am blaming society for creating this injustice. I do hold the M.P's that set their salaries somewhat to blame however because they can change this by stopping to give themselves pay rises when the community servers deserve it so much more. It is totally bizarre.

Saturday, 19 May 2007

21st Century Feminism

http://news.independent.co.uk/world/politics/article2542406.ece

Yes western society has changed somewhat in that women are now allowed to vote, have jobs outside the home, actually be taken seriously as leaders and scientists and enjoy many of the freedoms that women of previous generations dreamt about. Seriously though, I am amazed when I hear people talking about the work of feminists is done. There is so much more to do! Firstly there is that gross misconception that a feminist is a man hater, a bra burning activist that can not see women have equal rights already! Why does that myth still circulate?

Women are still not paid equally in many vocations, women are still victims of violent assaults, rapes and murders and many female babies are still being killed in some countries because of the social and economic burden of having to raise a female rather than a male.

It is easy to live in a world thinking you are not a part of the problem. I have heard that many times from men - they think women should be paid equally, they don't beat their woman - so what more can they do? So much more I think..

This patriarchal society we live in allows for the discrimination and abuse to continue. Domestic violence legislation for example, is weak and offers a legal solution between two options only- press charges or don't press charges. Why isn't there more social services for victims of domestic violence to help make choices for their future (so they can become financially independent, feel secure with child custody issues etc)? Womens Refuge are fantastic, but they are limited because of financial resources, and yet the government spends billions on sport and overseas aid. Domestic violence is rarely even discussed publically let alone the victims being considered as worthy of a major government grant.

For a very very long time, women have been treated as objects for the viewing pleasure of men. This creates several problems. Firstly, as objects of beauty, the real person inside of the body is being lost and the woman becomes a walking piece of art. Consequently, some men treat women badly as a result. For the women, their bodies become objects that need to be perfect - always well groomed, perfect shape, made-up, high fashion, sexy heels, perfectly kept hair etc etc. Diet companies and gyms have jumped on the bandwagon of this and provide a profitable service out of the obsession with perfection. As have cosmetic surgeons. Gone of the days of having to wear a corset to have that desirable small waist, but similarly now women have to maintain the perfect shape through exercise, dieting and if that doesn't work, surgery. Nowadays we just have to wear ridiculously high heels so we elongate our legs and push up bras that defy the laws of gravity. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy some of these feminine characteristics too - I just recognise them for what they are and why they exist.

At least though, my culture isn't one that denounces females so much that infanticide is common. My heart breaks for those babies. I would desperately love a daughter and would gladly take one (or more) of those precious babies if it were possible. I just don't understand how this still continues in the 21st century. Surely if women received equal pay in those countries, it would not be a financial burden on the family and the girl babies could live!

A feminist (male or female) is simply someone who believes women deserve to be treated equally. Feminism recognises women's value as an individual. A feminist believes that society and legislation needs to recognise there are still many instances of discrimination in the world. It is a shame we all aren't feminists and then maybe we could really put a dent in statistics for domestic abuse, female infanticide and many other instances of gender discrimination that I didn't even touch on..

Thursday, 17 May 2007

Fourteen Hour Days

I just put in a fourteen hour day on my essay. I am so tired. I think I am nearly there, I just have to tweak it a bit tomorrow to get it below the accepted word limit. I wish I was one of these people that turns out brilliant papers in a couple of days, mine take weeks and weeks! I just hope it makes sense tomorrow lol. I am off to shower and get into bed.

Wednesday, 16 May 2007

Old Towels

My favourite old towel has a big hole in it. It's about 18 years old now, I guess I should expect that. I wonder how many other people would keep a holey old towel just because it's their favourite. I love it because it is huge - down to my feet and in the winter I can keep so warm in it. It only gets used the once before its washed - I can't understand reusing dirty towels that sit all day between being used -eww. I would rather have a heap of washing to do and get a clean towel everyday - so I guess in light of that, my towel has lasted a long time. Not that I am ready to throw it out. It still works, in spite of the hole! The towel is so big the hole doesn't stop it from working lol! I don't understand much of our throw-away society today. We throw things away that don't even have anything wrong with them just because there is a new model out - or to keep up with fashion. I'm just not like that I guess. And it's not just my towel(s).. I have a favourite old tshirt, pillow, socks (that I wore in high school lol!), My sofa I've had for 18 years and that really has to go lol - one day soon...

I just don't feel the need to keep up with the Jones with things.. I like new technology and I try to keep up to date with that, but that is because I use it and wear old stuff out.. I wish things/appliances were made to last 30 odd years like they were used to, now we just throw them away because they aren't worth fixing, and so our rubbish/dumps are overflowing with useless appliances. Seems stupid to me, why are we trying to recycle plastic bags and sending all our old appliances with apparently nothing worth fixing or saving for parts.. to the rubbish tip? Crazy.. or is crazy holding on to a holey towel.. hmm..

Tuesday, 15 May 2007

Capitalism, Me & Television

It's early morning and I am the only one awake. This is one of my favourite times because I get to think in peace. Two things are happening today of importance. One, I am giving into the capitalist world of satellite television, and two I have to go to uni today to plan the rest of my degrees (yeah, plural lol). I will write more on that after I have been to the meeting.

I have long resisted getting satellite tv because I don't really watch a lot of tv and have not felt it was a justified expense. My son has always wanted it but only to watch cartoons, so I think that was another reason I resisted.. and besides, I could always watch it at my mothers house when we visited there. So why the sudden change? Well it's not really sudden.. it was a good deal that the company lured me in to accept another claw of the capitalist lifestyle that creeps in and takes over your life. I love watching the documentaries, comedies, umm just about everything except sports really lol.. so yes, I gave in. I do feel bad because firstly, it's not a necessity - and I object to the many many people in NZ that really can't afford it, that send their kids to school without breakfast or lunch and then seem to be able to afford this luxury when they don't work. I also feel bad that it's a real luxury and the money could be better spent - on clothes, saved, even a vacation. I tell myself, it's just a trial, if I don't use it, I'll just cancel it. And I am also trying to appease my guilt by starting child sponsorship up again. I have been wanting to get my son to learn about giving to a child from the developing world for a while now.. so this presents the perfect time .. and yeah I see the irony in that.

So on the one hand I feel very excited to get something that I know will give our family a lot of joy, but on the otherhand, I do feel guilty about further entrenching myself in the pits of capitalism. So many people in so much debt these days because they think things are necessary.

Monday, 14 May 2007

Let Those Without Sin..

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4058831a10.html

You would think a 26 year old story would have to be sufficiently juicy enough to warrant all the media attention this piece is getting but no. Howard Broad didn't murder or rape anyone, nor did he allow that to happen in his house, nor did he allow anyone to show bestiality porn in his house, what DID he do then to deserve all the media attention?

The police commissioner of New Zealand hosted a party 26 years ago and one of the people at the party (not a police party, a rugby team party) brought a video that the commissioner was unaware of, that this person played, or attempted to play without the knowledge of Howard Broad, who was 23yrs old at the time. Now a magazine has published an article on this "incident" and casts the integrity of Howard Broad into doubt because of this event, held unbeknownst to him, 26 years ago.

Broad does not deny this happened. He did not watch it and he was angry that someone brought it into his home. What more could he do? He couldn't have prevented it happening, and he stopped it when he knew about it. I wonder who really cares about the whole thing. If he was caught watching this stuff now as the police commissioner, that is a different story, but come on, how can we condemn someone for something that happened 26 years ago when they had no control over it? It is just a blatant example of someone with a grudge. I do not believe we can expect to have all our leaders as sin-free or saints as we often expect them to. Who ever said they had to be perfect? Why do we have to make them pay for every "mistake" in their lives? What is to be gained for reporting this? Nothing positive for Broad, his family or the people that work for him and need his respect.

Much has been said about the police culture lately and I believe too much has been categorised as police culture when it should be categorised as Kiwi male culture. What happens or what happened when men get/got together in rugby circles, office parties, farm drink-ups or police gatherings was not just limited to police staff. We all know or have heard of parties that ended up going over some moral lines, it shouldn't be all blamed on just police culture.

I do concede there was and still is a distinct police culture that exists in New Zealand that I have witnessed with my own eyes. But I do not concede that every New Zealand police officer is a part of this culture or that it exists as an underworld as has been suggested. The police culture that I know is a way of helping cope with the many varied situations that police have to deal with everyday and includes comradorie and mutual humour, understanding. We can't expect police to be perfect and just as in every other group, there are going to be some bad eggs that will need to be exposed and rooted out.

Of course police officers have to abide by the law just like everyone else, and any accusations of rape, discrimination etc should not be treated the same as this incident as I believe the media are trying to do by painting a picture that all NZ police are deviant. But this incident needs to be acknowledged for what it is and what it is not. How can we compare rape with this latest incident? We have to be aware of the influence of the medias comparisons - these separate incidents of inappropriate police behaviour and what happened at Howard Broad's party 26 years ago are not the same!

I think a lot of that Kiwi (male) culture has died off due to more women in the workforce and families have been given priority over workmates playtime.. perhaps society has changed for the better in at least this area. Or perhaps we've just grown up..

Sunday, 13 May 2007

Mothers Day

It's Mothers Day today. I got the coolest card from my son. I will treasure it forever. Soon I will phone my own mother and wish her a happy mothers day. It's a funny concept that we have to have separate days to make sure we tell the people supposedly closest to us that we appreciate them, why can't we just do that everyday anyway? I think sadly, mothers day is just another commercialisation that tugs on our guilt, heartstrings and confuses love with having to give a material gift. I am glad my son decided to make me a card rather than buy one. To me that shows he actually donated his time and thoughts to making something special rather than just buying one that I ultimately paid for anyway. The best present I could ever get was to know that he loves me and appreciates me, and that is what the card told me (and what I already knew) - that is my mothers day. Although in saying that, I did fall into the trap of buying my mother a gift and a card.. but I did spend forever looking through all the cards to find the right one! Not that I feel better about that I guess.. but I also live a long way from my mother so it is not as easy to make a meal for her or something personal like that. I still think it's a funny concept mothers day.. even if I'm a bit hypocritical about it.

Saturday, 12 May 2007

In the beginning

I finally decided I wanted to organise my thoughts a bit and put them all in one spot rather than in the millions of little notes that litter my desk, walls and mind.. I don't know where to even begin though, so as usual it will probably include a lot of disjointed ideas of mine that I may or may not even agree with the next day. At least I'm learning though I guess and working through some of the information that I get.